That my dear is a great question! The answer is it depends on your wits your savvy and your postal worker. How well U work the wheels of beurocracy is what this little game is about. Don't let it become simply about a barter trade disguised as a bribe.

But if it comes down to a gift or a bribe: Beer, kisses, poloroids, hugs, porn, ice, masage, stamps, blank postcards, stickers, SOUP, jokes, substances, songs, dance, theatrics, a good scam on us, party invitation(s), costumage, food, light up toys or glowy things, jewlrey or adornments, and of course anything 'HARDCORE' or that displays foul language

Well that's at least the list I could discern from listening to the windows last year....

Good luck young jedi - may you escape the machine before it composts you in the garbage shoot.

well, shucks. I just want a friggin' lap dance. I give so many of them myself as an "Urgent Male" BRCPO O-grammer, and I never get one for myself. But, failing that, a gold toilet seat would be pretty swell. Or a winning lottery ticket. Or a monkey butler.

we always need waiter and waitress staff....

Your complete complayance with standard ops proceedure.
We want stamps
we want bribes
we want mail
we want your artsy fartsy post cards
we want to harrass you
we want bribes
we want you to wait in this line
then wait in that line
we want you to get your passport
your citizenship card
to fill out more forms
wait in another line
and give us more cool bribes
we want to abduct you..
talk to our souper vizor
to fuck with your head
umm did i mention bribes?
and bribes.
NEXT!